Thursday, March 19, 2009

Contemplation (or: the bucket list)

I find myself measuring what is important to me the last few day. I mean REALLY measuring. Am I doing something because it brings joy and meaning or because I have always done it. If I spend my life pursuing my dreams and goals where does that lead me and what have I given to the world? Is it important to give to the world, or give back? If I create or live a bucket list what is the measurement of success of the completion and is that important? Is measurement important? Is it important to leave a legacy? What is a legacy? What is important? In other words, to quote Monty Python, What is the meaning of life?


I can say I am somewhat paralyzed by these questions. Upon finding out I had cancer below my eye, I froze. I lived in a state of disbelief and fear for a few months as I waited for the process to complete. Now I find myself on the receiving end of a slightly-less-than-normal well-woman check-up. (Guess that would make it a not-well-check-up, though I felt fine going into the whole thing). Do I create a bucket list? (I'm not really fond of that name) OR, Have I always had one and if so what is on that list?

2 comments:

Silvia said...

I remember doing an exercise, don't remember where it was from, where you just wrote on paper all kinds of things that popped into your head--what you liked doing, places you wanted to see, hobbies you thought sounded interesting, stuff you're good at--don't remember exactly how it was supposed to be. If I find my notebook I'll tell you more. Then you draw lines connecting similar items and see what comes up most and get going on some of them. Does that make sense at all?

Silvia said...

Oh, I also have a pink post-it note that asks, "Will this contribute to my future happiness?" As a reminder to think about what I'm doing in the moment. How does it affect my life now and in the future. I'm working on that one . . .